i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
