i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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