like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
