I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
