no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The Olympian is in my bed
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
dude. I can hear the air.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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