I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
