Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Randomize
