Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
