they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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