O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
