I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
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