btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
