i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
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