Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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