why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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