My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
