Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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