if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
He shit in the fireplace
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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