I need help removing her.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
