Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
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