so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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