You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
