I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
