This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
