The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
