with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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