oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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