I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
