Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
