will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
They have beer where we have blood.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Randomize
