Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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