I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
