Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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