And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
