Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
This is classic penis vs brain.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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