Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
