i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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