how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
