I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Apparently you make a good broom.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Randomize
