I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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