why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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