ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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