i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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