Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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