In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
And my parents said I crawled through the house
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
