Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
