i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
