do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
home. puking in laundry basket.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
