Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
