problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
worst night to have a conscience
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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