I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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